Are you holding a grudge? About?

A Funny Little Story About Me

Let Me Tell You a Little Story

When I was just a kid, people always talked about their fathers—what nice gifts their father brought them, how they went fishing, how they learned to fix things together. But me? I never saw my father at all. My friends had one father, but I had zero. So, I had to pretend a random man was like my dad. Did it work? Not really! I always felt like something was missing, like my life had this empty “father space”.

Now looking back, maybe my mom felt sad too. But she never talked about it, ever. She was like a magician, hiding her feelings deep inside. I think she didn’t want people to look down on us for not having a father at home. So, she kept all the secrets from me and my brother. Anytime we asked, she would zip her lips shut—no answers for curious kids.

What Kind of Grudge Was I Holding?

Growing up, my mom had some strange ideas. For example, she believed every girl should have a boyfriend at 18, marry quick, and start pumping out babies. At age 17, I heard a funny (and a bit silly) saying in Chinese: a girl is like a pail of water—you throw her out once she’s grown. That definitely left me thinking, “Wait, am I just some spilled water?”
So yeah, my big grudge was feeling like love in my family was missing for girls. Girls didn’t get hugs, only boys were the family stars. Sometimes I thought: is it wrong for a girl to want love at home? Was I holding a grudge? Oh, yes, I was holding a grudge the size of a mountain.

Why Do We Need to Let Go?

As time passed by (and wrinkles started showing—oops!), my mind grew up too. One day, I saw a quote: “Holding a grudge is like letting someone live rent-free in your head.”

That hit me hard. I was mad at my mom for loving my brother more, saying he was better at studies and took care of her. Me? She said I was selfish and never cared for her feelings. But monthly allowance I gave her was like thousand of dollars and she will never mention it.
Even when she visited, she was always thinking about my brother: “Is he home alone? Is he hungry?” No loving talk for me. Honestly, I wanted her visits to feel like real love, not just a drive-thru pitstop!

But after reading that quote, I thought, “Why am I letting old hurt eat up my happiness?” Suddenly, I decided to let it go. My partner gives me more love now, and self-love is much better than holding onto pain from the past.

Lifelong Learning: Writing It Down

Turns out, writing about all this helps. Putting feelings on paper is like squeezing a lemon on all the bitter thoughts—some sour, some sweet! It’s okay to admit: “I had a grudge. It was real. But now I want to feel okay.” Learning to talk about feelings makes life lighter.

Manifesting and Moving On

I started telling myself, “Just keep swimming!” (Borrowed from a cute fish in a cartoon.) Life goes forward, not backward. I dream about better days, work hard, and try to forgive—not just my family, but myself too.

No One Is Perfect

Nobody’s perfect. Not me. Not my mom. Not even random people on the street (and definitely not the man I pretended was my dad). We all have funny stories, hard times, and ugly feelings sometimes. But if we forgive, laugh a little, and move on, life becomes a lot more fun—and way less heavy to carry.

So, are you holding a grudge? If you are, maybe write it down, have a little laugh, and then throw that heavy water pail away. Make space for happy, silly, good days ahead. You might be surprised at how much better you feel.
Remember, life is about learning, letting go, and moving on. And sometimes, all you need is a pen, a notebook, and a little faith.

What about you? Have you ever held a grudge? How did you let it go? Share your story in the comments below!

P.S. If you need a beautiful notebook to start your journey of letting go, check out my latest designs on Amazon. Happy writing, and happy living!